MYTH #3: Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy. You may feel you must parent as your punishment for being sexually active or becoming pregnant, and therefore it is your duty to bear the responsibility. If this is how you feel, answer these questions: What part of my behavior was irresponsible? My sexual activity? My lack of birth control? My choice of a sexual partner? Maybe irresponsibility has nothing to do with parenting, but rather what came before. What is responsible behavior now that I am pregnant? Is it responsible to parent your child if you have no money, no one to help you and no skills to get a good job? Being pregnant doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to parent, but it doesn't make you a bad person either. There may be another time in your life this is more appropriate for you to parent. Now that you are pregnant, what should you be responsible for? You need to plan for your child's future. Know all of your options and the consequences of each option. Make a plan that will be in the best interest of your child. Decisions made impulsively or based only on feelings are not responsible. If you really feel you should parent to punish yourself for what you did, consider this: eighteen years of unwanted parenting when you are not ready is too severe a punishment for anyone. Many birth parents who choose to parent feel they have paid their dues year after year. The child often pays too.